I’m in total “I don’t care” mode when it comes to school stuff. I am going to hate myself tomorrow when I’m struggling to study as well as finish my essay.
I honestly don’t know why I torture myself like this but I cannot write. Not today, not yesterday. I swear I know what I’m doing but I cannot form sentences to make paragraphs to finish this essay.
Nineteen things I’ve learned before I turned nineteen.
1. Always carry $5 and a lighter with you (even if you don’t smoke).
2. Ask every person you meet how their day is going. Genuinely ask with the soul intention of learning how their day is. Ask the coffee shop employee. Ask the person next to you in line at Walmart. Ask your distant friend. Ask everyone.
3. Take many photos of yourself. Take photos of yourself when you’re happy. Take photos of yourself when you’re sad. Take photos of yourself because there are millions of trees in the world, and we all look at the same sky, but there is only one of you.
4. Stay in contact with your parents. Try not to hate them. They are the reason you have the ability to feel anything at all. Try not to hate your parents.
5. Opening your skin will not set your demons free. Open your heart. Open your mind. Open your hands.
6. Nobody knows anybody completely. That’s okay.
7. Be gentle, but be aggressive. Take a stand. Nobody hears your voice if you stay silent.
8. Respect everybody. We are all humans trying to survive. We all deserve respect.
9. Wearing black will ALWAYS make you feel better about yourself.
10. Always give tips, whether it be a couple extra dollars or a piece of mind. You never know how much you could be helping someone.
11. Change is the only thing consistent in life. Do not allow that bother you. Embrace chance and move with life, whichever direction it chooses to take you.
12. Smile often. Smile at strangers. Smile at your friends. Smile when nobody is looking and you’re alone in your bedroom. Smile when somebody is rambling to you.
13. Body image means nothing. Your body is merely just a seatbelt in the car. Your body is here to protect you. You choose the direction you go, and your body will not hold you back. Only you can hold yourself back.
14. Don’t hold grudges. Don’t allow yourself to hate anybody. Forgive them. Learn to love them for the person you never got to see them to be. Believe that a beautiful human exists in that person. Wish them well.
15. Drink orange juice. Lots of it.
16. Don’t allow the opinions of others to choose your destiny. We are all simply trying to live our own life.
17. Sing all the time. Sing off key. Sing in a silly voice. Sing like you’re on stage. Sing no matter who is around. Singing is breathing for the soul. Sing.
18. Take time to think. Write your feelings down. Write letters to the people you love. Texting is overrated and not as heartfelt as a nice handwritten letter.
19. Live for yourself. Breathe for yourself. Do everything in your life for nobody but you. This is your life. This is it.
A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face she inquired, “How heavy is this glass of water?” The answers called out ranged from 8oz to 20oz. She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If i hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If i hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “Stress and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them for a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed - incapable of doing anything.” Always remember to put the glass down.
Dan Sabato is one of those guys who can’t figure out why he doesn’t have any close friends who have his back on the regular.
I actually do have a lot of close friends who have my back on the regular. Most of them are women, in fact. Funny thing, when you have someone else’s back, they tend to have yours too.
Did you really have to bust this guy’s balls though? You couldn’t just empathize with him? Or just not say anything?
I understand the point you were trying to get across but is a social forum, where everyone can see what he’s feeling, and then to post it on another forum, really the way to do it? Seems like you may have just made his time a little more difficult than it needed to be.
Yes, I really had to “bust this guy’s balls.” He was expressing internalized misogyny and an attitude that vilifies women for things entirely beyond their control, and even if he doesn’t know this is what he’s doing, he needs to be called out. No, I couldn’t empathize with him, because he was being an asshole. I couldn’t “just not say anything” because then I’m abusing my privilege as much as he is.
I’d have made his time more difficult than it needed to be had I not whited out his surname and blurred his image so it couldn’t be traced back to him. In fact, y’all don’t know if “Peter” is actually the name of the guy who posted this or if I put a generic first name so you couldn’t find him. I posted it on tumblr because I thought it was an important exchange for people to consider, and screencapping was easier than contextualizing it as a first-person narrative.
What I really don’t appreciate, though, is the insinuation that even though my point is valid, I should just shut up about it (Ref: “Or just not say anything?”) in an attempt to spare his feelings (Ref: “Did you really have to bust this guy’s balls though?”) by not pointing out to him that he’s being a giant sexist. That line of thinking is the same one of people who think that being called sexist is just as bad as being the victim of sexism.
Dan Sabato, thanks for having OUR backs and not putting up with that friend zone noise.
Dan Sabato, I salute you.
Dan, you truly are the man
I’m doing everything to avoid writing this essay…but I gotta remember that not only I have to write that essay, I also have a reading response and a summary to write plus a test to study for.
I don’t want you to be careful around me. I want you to trust me. To trust that I won’t judge you negatively. No matter what it is I will try to understand.
I want you to let go in front of me, so that I can let go in front of you. Let’s be free in front of each other. That way our hearts will both feel at ease.