GET TO KNOW ME BEFORE YOU JUDGE ME.


-"In life God doesn't give you the people you want, instead He gives you the people you need. To teach you, to hurt you, to love you, and make you exactly the way you should be."

Procrastination is such a bad habit.

But I can’t stop…

2/3 I basically gave up.

I just finished my 2nd exam and I finished the whole thing so I don’t think I failed but…I dunno it all depends on them now. I’m confident about the last part which was the easiest but worth the least but like I said I’m good with a B for this class. That’s all I need. Now for my next exam I really need those 3 days to study. I must not slack cause my prof specifically said that she’s marking harder.

Exams.

Sleeping early for my morning exam tomorrow. This is a first. I gave up studying for this exam. I just need a B in this class and I’ll be satisfied. In comparison to last year, this semester was just bad in terms of my grades. But I ain’t even mad because I really didn’t even try to work that hard. Too many missed classes and ignored readings. As Christmas break approaches, I’m just ready to get my shit together. I’m gonna make sure this break is productive as ever, that includes catching up with my friends whom I miss so much right now.

Wish me luck cause I’m gonna need it. I just need like a C on this exam to pull that B in this class. I hope I don’t blank out. It’s all definitions, short answers, and essays. It’s the first time I’m wishing I had a multiple-choice test instead because definitions are so hard to bullshit. Gaaaaah!

I’m definitely getting old. Back in highschool I’d honestly get no sleep yet still happen to wake up at 6am to get ready for school for 5 days a week. Now it’s like I can’t even get up for a class at 2pm on tuesdays. Where has my energy gone to.

My next exam is at 9 in the morning. I havent been to school that early since first year. Damn, will I even be able to wake up. I just want this to fly by. :(

I hate school.

Someone needs to slap some sense in me. This weekend was not productive at all. This paper, essay, report, whatever is due next Saturday and because I skipped so much I have no idea how to go about it. Plus I have to have it finished by at least Tuesday because exams start next Monday and my first exam is worth 50% of my grade…I skipped so much of that class too. -__- Well at this point I can only blame myself for my lack of focus. This year is supposed to be important but I’m barely trying. At this point, I just hate it. I need some motivation. Fuck, I’m so frustrated. What is life? I want to give up everything and just live in the mountains somewhere. My mind would be so much more at peace. But for now, I just gotta suck it up and think positively. I can do this, I always get it done. 

I feel like a part of me just loves stressing myself out because every time I procrastinate and cram I always cough up a brilliant paper. I don’t know how I do it. I guess I work well under pressure and with no sleep. But that feeling after is not satisfying at all. It actually feels really bad cause then my energy is all drained, then I end up skipping class and I don’t want to do anything else but sleep. This is what university does to you. Nope, I lied just UofTorture.

Too stressed to get a goodnight’s sleep.

I slept pretty early last night, I was hella exhausted so I slept in this morning.  But I woke up this morning feeling so shitty. This is how I know I’m over stressed. No matter how long I sleep for it isn’t enough because the quality of sleep that I get is not that great at all.

I wanna go back to Texas and refresh my mind, body, and soul. I’m just so much more peaceful there…cause I have nothing to worry about. 

Missing in my life.

I miss my baller, choir, and dance days. 

WTF happened to me?

I need to be more active in school.

But who am I kidding…?

I barely have time to sleep and to even see my crew. 

School is taking too much of my time.

Hell week.

I don’t know even know how I survived this week…but I did. 4 midterms (3 in class, 1 essay) in one week is suicide. The whole week I’ve had about 10 hrs of sleep. Thankfully, I can finally rest…but I have a feeling I’m going to end up dropping one of these classes because of my grades. I am honestly only confident that I did well in one of those midterms. The others we’re just hell. But this week is over and I can finally breathe…& celebrate. But I wish my birthday wasn’t on a Monday :(

Essay.

This essay is only worth 20% but I spent the whole weekend plus half of today to finish it…why? Because I cant focus. Ughhh, I could’ve been done Friday but for some reason I just really didn’t have the motivation to do it. I kept falling asleep, my ideas were everywhere. I just couldn’t get myself to finish it. To make matters worse, after having an epiphany, I had to start from scratch because I changed my topic. Now I’m done but I don’t even know how I feel about it. But w/e lowest I can get is a B. I’m sure of that. I just hate how I wasted so much time on it when I finally could’ve caught up on my other classes. Now on to the next one…250 word report. Let’s go~

I would kill for photographic memory right about now…

NO MOTIVATION.

I have to write two papers and they’re due next week but for some odd reason I really don’t want to. I’m mentally and physically exhausted. I woke up today in the shitiest state ever. I didn’t even want to get up, I just wanted to hibernate. But I was like no I’m wasting time just lying here and I have so much to do. Honestly tho, I’ve been feeling really exhausted lately. 

Lately, I’ve only been posting pictures. So I decided to write this. Hahaa!

I don’t really have much to write but tomorrow I have summer school. Yepp, I decided to take summer school. It’s official. Even though I haven’t been writing posts, I’m pretty sure all of my complaints about school will go straight here hahaaa.

Okay I’ve been laughing way too much this week. Way too much, I’m in a very happy mood right now. I just hope this lasts throughout the two months of summer school.

Too much to do, so little time.

Only 1 more week of school left and I already feel like I’ve reached my peak. I’m exhausted, I’m lacking sleep. I just want it to end~ I haven’t even slept on my actual bed for the past how many days because I’ve been writing essays or studying. :( 

Done for the week.

I totally beasted the two essays I had due this week and I just finished my Korean assignment a few minutes ago and I feel so dead yet I’m still awake. Hahaa, next week I have another essay to write. BOOO and the week after that I have an even shittier schedule, why? Because on Wednesday April 4, I have 2 tests and a short film due, meaning I am dead by the time the day ends. FML!!!!!!!

Essays.

I finally finished one out of the two essays I have due this week and omfg, that shizz was hard to freaking write. But ahkasdjfbvfjbsskn I’m done so onto the next one. But I don’t feel like starting that one… It’s due on wed though. FML. Whatever, it cant be worse than the one I just finished which is 16 pages overall. 9 pages belonging to the essay itself and the rest was a shot-by-shot analysis of a movie. The next one is only 5 pages, so hopefully I get it done soon. 

Then next week another essay. Yepp it never ends. If I combine all of the essays I’ve written this year, it equates a book no lie…